It’s midday and I’m walking towards downtown Manzini, Swaziland. It’s so hot and dry that I feel like I’m inside an oven.

As I cross the street, a man dressed in a trench coat appears out of nowhere and starts walking beside me. I immediately shudder. It doesn’t take me long to remember that I’m living in a country where rape, HIV and AIDS are rampant. Everyday since I’ve been in this country I’ve heard stories about terrible things that have happened to people, particularly to females. My next thought is “how do I get rid of the stranger?” By “rid” I mean how do I make him go away without crossing him. I know full well that it´s not safe to walk alone after dark, but in the middle of the day? It definitely isn’t a good idea to pay attention to this man even in broad daylight, let alone try my humanitarian (the reason I was in Swaziland in the first place) skills on him because I’m by myself. My only chance of pulling myself out of this situation is to scope it out. Plus, he was wearing a trench coat at noon on one of the hottest days of the year.

The mysterious trench coat man doesn’t show signs of giving up on pursuing me. He’s mumbling, more to himself than to me. I make out some phrases, “I’ll stay with you for 2 years, at least…”. Has he mistaken me for someone he recognizes? He’s starting to make me nervous so I tell him that he needs to leave me alone. He refuses. The fact that he’s persistent is building me up with fury. “No” means “no”.

I decide to go into a shopping mall, confident that he will disappear, but this plan fails. So now I’m hoping that by entering the grocery store in the mall, the sight of people will scare him away. Doesn’t work either. Everyone is staring at us while this persistent stranger follows me all throughout the store, while I pick up items to buy, while I wait in line to pay, after I pay, and even after I leave the grocery store. I didn’t think the situation would go this far. “Why isn’t anyone doing anything to help me?” I think. I hope they don’t think I know this person.

I’m outside again, and I spot the building where I work, but I decide it wouldn’t be wise to enter there because it’s Saturday and no one is working. I turn to trench coat man and threaten to call the police. He doesn’t budge and replies “Go ahead, call the police”. What the…? Is he challenging me? His resistance to my very firm expressed wishes is making me angrier and angrier. How DARE he doesn’t give me my Canadian definition of “space” which I call my privacy (about metre radius of space around me)?

Instead of feeling powerless, I feel empowered to do something. Feeling smothered, angry and overwhelmed by his unwanted presence, I actually fear what I might do to this guy. The thought of physically harming this guy runs through my mind. Lucky for the guy, I don’t make a rash decision. I see my friends’ shop a few meters away and, I slightly speed up my walk over there. Trench coat guy asks me, nonplussed, why I’m walking so “briskly”,  that I shouldn’t be afraid of him. Annoyed at his perplexed behaviour, I tell him that it’s HIM who should be afraid…of me.

My friends see me from indoors looking panic-stricken and bounce to their feet at once and I blurt out that this guy has been following me for a very long time. They don’t let me down and come to my rescue. The second my feet touch the floor of the shop, with the mysterious guy right behind me, I run all the way to the back of the store for refuge because I can’t take any of this anymore. I hear my friends running after trench coat man in the background. I never saw him again.

Fortunately (for him) I did not stumble upon trench coat man again during the rest of my stay in Southern Africa, which back was in 2007.

Featured image courtesy of Yousif Malibiran.

Signing off –

Shamim Sobhani

49 thoughts on “How I was stalked by a man in a trench coat

  1. Always wise to be either in the company of friends, or a tour group when you travel to unfamiliar countries. I’ve travelled extensively though there is so much more of the world I’ve not visited and so enjoy reading blogs of those who do travel. The world can be a dangerous place.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Speaking of always trying to be with company in a place like Swaziland, you must be careful with the taxi drivers too. I was given a name of a trusted taxi driver who was a friend of a friend and I was told to only call him whenever I needed a ride somewhere.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I’ve visited in some countries where you don’t have an opportunity of a friend to guide you and have to take a chance. There have been true stories of kidnapping and robbing being set loose in the middle of the night with nothing and not knowing where you were in a very dangerous neighbourhood. I’ve always been apprehensive under those kind of potential circumstances and in some cases have had narrow escape for which I’m very grateful.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Wow, that sounds intense Ian. I’m glad that circumstances left you alright. I went to Swaziland not knowing any locals, but I quickly made the right friends who are so kind and considerate. Just true friends who I’ll be forever be grateful because I could always count on them to help me out when I needed it.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. What a horrific experience! You write so beautifully, I thought (at first) this was a work of short fiction…your blog post is actually empowering, because it sheds light on real life. We must change this reality!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks – I was fortunate enough to have made precious friends who cared about me and with that kind of a network nothing unfortunate happened (or at least I came out safe!)


  3. Dear Shamim, What a scary story! I was doing an internship in Prague many years ago when I was followed by a large man in a track suit – he stayed right behind me on a steep and long path on a Sunday morning (so no one around). Like you I finally decided to challenge him, but when I spoke English, he ran away.
    Thank you so much for following my blog – I am honored. Stop by any time!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I am glad I am not a female. Not for any reason other than the fact that generally speaking, I will never have to worry about this. I literally cannot imagine what it’s like to deal with this, to be objectified and harassed and f*cking followed???
    I don’t presume to speak on the behalf of all men, but I am deeply sorry this happened to you.

    Liked by 1 person

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